I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine that ended up being the inspiration for this post. Picture this, you met a girl at a bar, sporting event, house party, dinner, whatever it was, and you hit it off. There was instant chemistry, sparks were flying, and before she left, she gave you her number. Of course the obvious takeaway from the series of events is she really wants you to contact her. From a female’s perspective, this is correct. She does want you to contact her, definitely. BUT, wait. You’ve read magazines, watched movies, had chats with your friends, and everyone seems to say the same thing, ‘wait at least three days’. You need to create desire, anticipation, wonder, etc., right? Wrong. Well, partially wrong. Yes, you do need to create desire, but you shouldn’t follow this rule verbatim. With dating sites, Tinder and all of the other ways to connect via phones and computers, three days is far to long to wait for most women because most likely, if she is single and looking, she can VERY easily find. The traditional 3-day, 72-hour rule now only applies to a select few women and this post will tell you who is in that category and who you should text sooner.
Typically the amount of time you should wait to text her will vary, depending on a few factors; the girl, the night, the interaction and the conversation exchange.
There are a few different types of girls, each of which will have to be approached differently. Let me break it down for you with 24, 48 and 74 hour-type girls.
If a shy girl gave you her number, you should probably wait a maximum of 24 hours to text her, even if she wasn’t sober when she gave it to you. She’s shy, she probably doesn’t give her number out often… and you should consider yourself lucky. She may get sad or feel a little down on herself if you don’t message her soon, so text her the next day. This girl is loyal, sweet and someone you would definitely take home to meet the parents... don't let her get away.
The outgoing girl, at a party or other busy social gathering:
She was the life of the party, surrounded by a plethora of men and women, you guys talked, had great conversation, sparks flew, and she chose to give you her number. Of course, she may have given it to a couple other gentlemen (you don’t know), but that shouldn’t take away from the fact that she chose to give it to you. Because she is outgoing, she is probably quite confident and most likely won’t be deeply hurt or get too down on herself if you don’t message her immediately, but on the other hand, if you wait to long, you may become dust in the wind.
The energy she gives off is intoxicating and it is probable that she has other men who are waiting for a chance with her. She has options, and she’s ok with it. Because of the fact that she almost always knows that she can have what she wants, you should wait this one out, but not for too long. Don’t text her immediately, don’t text her the next day (to create the desire and anticipation), text her two days later.
Why two days? Because, one day is too soon and three is too long. Texting immediately or the next day will not allow desire to build, and you’ll risk being lumped in with the other men she knows she can have. After three days, with a girl like her, she will probably have forgotten about you. Don’t risk it. Text her in 48 hours.
The confident straight shooter, the entrepreneur, the post-grad student, or any women who fit into the really busy, really self-assured category.
Why should you wait 72 hours to contact the types that fall into the categories above? Well, because firstly, they probably don’t have time for online dating which lessens the possibility of you being forgotten in anything more than 48 hours and secondly, they’re so busy, confident and pre-occupied that they probably need more time for the desire to build. The day after, she’s planning a brunch with her friends, after 48 hours, she’s working on the things she’s neglected and by the third day, she’s thinking about the awesome conversation she had with you and is wondering why she hasn't heard from you yet. BAM you text her, she gets excited, and you’re in!
So next time you're at the bar and you get her number (you lucky guy, you!), make sure you consider what type of girl she is before texting her. 72 hours may seem like a long time to wait for a babe like her, but trust me, if you want to make it into her mind, and stay there, you should wait a bit (not a bunch).
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