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Style = Confidence
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Ensemble Style is a Calgary fashion stylist stylists personal shopper shoppers and wardrobe consultant consultants. Menswear styling and closet edits. Custom suiting for men. Made-to-measure suiting

 

 

 

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A men's fashion/style blog, for the modern, stylish man. Personal shopping and styling in Calgary Alberta, Canada. New York fashion styling and consulting.

How to be a gentleman while avoiding the friend zone.

Lauren Larsen

Guys, I know you have all experienced this at one time or another. There is a girl you like, you think it's going somewhere, you treat her really nice, take her for dinner, console her when she's sad, and BAM you end up in the friend zone. The horrible friend zone. The place that potential boyfriends go to die {ok, not literally, but your chance of every being her boyfriend is dead}. 

I'll be honest... I've friend zoned guys before. Almost every single girl I know has... and there are a few reasons why this happens, and a few really good ways to avoid it. Here are the main reasons why {from my humble perspective} guys end up in the friend zone & how to avoid it!

how to avoid the friend zone lauren larsen calgary stylist

4 ways to avoid the friend zone while still being a gentleman

1.    Have a backbone. This is BY FAR the most important and easiest way to avoid the friend zone. If she knows she can walk all over you... you'll do anything she asks, you'll make time for her whenever she wants... when she says jump you say 'how high'.. you're doomed. There are ways to be a gentleman whilst not being a pushover. For example, when she wants to make plans with you, you shouldn't ALWAYS be available. I know this might be hard because you really want to see her, but if it seems like you have nothing else going on, she's going to think you're lame. For the first little while, be a little busy... and even if you're not busy, pretend you're busy. I don't like games, but trust me on this one... if you don't have anything else going on, you have to pretend until you're sure you're more than a friend.

2.    No going dutch. If you're asking her out for dinner, you're paying for dinner. simple. as. that. I don't care about new age equality or feminism or any of that crap... if you don't want to be in the friend zone... then you have to let her know you're interested, and a great way to let her know you're interested is by treating her to a bottle of wine and a nice dinner. 

3.    Say what you want and mean what you say. Women love a confident man who knows what he wants... there is a reason why George Clooney is one of the most desirable men on the planet - he {or more accurately, every character he plays, because I don't know him personally} unapologetically says what he wants and means what he says {that amongst other things}. If you want to kiss her, say it. If you think she's sexy in her new shoes & skinny jeans, tell her. If you KNOW there is an amazing new restaurant that just opened up and the tartare is out of this world, make a reso and order it. Women love a man who takes charge {while still being a gentleman} and says it like it is. 

Note here... the title refers to 'being a gentleman' - this tip will not work if you are unapologetically a huge asshole. Say what you want while being considerate of feelings. If you're going to play the 'i'm an asshole card' thinking you'll win her over... well, you might, but I can almost guarantee you that if it works, she has deep rooted issues and it won't last.

4.    Have interests. There is no better way to look like a total dud than having zero interests. I don't care if it's yoga, painting, kickboxing, gardening or the intricacies of the inside of a computer, if you don't have some sort of passion or interests, you're going to be written off. I'd argue that every living person has interests, and if your too shy to share yours, refer to #3. If you simply don't have any, well... you need to enrol in some extra curricular activities and figure it out.

I'd add 'dress well' as #5, but I think that goes without saying. You know I think you should dress well... have nice shoes, properly fitted jeans, etc. etc.... so I don't think it is necessary to mention ;). 

I want to hear your thoughts on this one! Tell me below if you agree, disagree, or have anything to add to this list! What are your experiences with the friend zone, and why do you think you ended up there?? I'm a woman and can really only tell you why, from my perspective, a guy would end up here... but perhaps you've had different experiences. 

Thanks for reading, supporting & being awesome. Now go out there and get her, you handsome devil, you.

xo

LL

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